Before you quit reading and roll your eyes, hear me out. This is not a cry to love yourself and this is not a beg for you to just look on the brighter side of things. I am not talking at you or even to you but to myself. I am 7 months clean of self harm. It was not easy, it is not easy, it is a daily decision to choose better. I have felt what you are feeling and still feel it some days. I refuse to tell you things will get better tomorrow or next week or even next month. What I can tell you is that you have the ability right now to scream, to cry, to run, to punch, to freak out. You have the ability to express yourself in any way you desire. You can paint or sketch or write or make music or play video games or dance or –like me- sing. Get out and do something that makes you feel alive. People aren’t always kind, you aren’t perfect, they aren’t either. Hearts break, you fall in love, you are alive to feel, YOU are alive. Being positive isn’t always smiling or never having bad days it’s having the strength to move past those days and come out of it in your own way. Jesus shows us that every hopeless situation ceases to exist in the cross. He paid the debts, conquered the grave, all to be with us again. He did all of this knowing that we would be running away from him full speed most days, he did this knowing we would sin everyday, he did this knowing we would hate him. His love for us is unmatched, he loves us. I mean let that sink in fully, he LOVES us. Fully and completely is obsessed with us and our scars and our stories. We are so important to him and that may be hard to believe but I know on my darkest days if I bring myself to believe the truths Christ has spoken of me I can not help but smile and KNOW that I’m going to be okay. I don’t have all the answers and I still struggle everyday and I don’t know when or if that will ever cease to happen. However, I do know that God has made each and everyone of us going through this for so much more than that mountains we are facing. I also know that he loves us so much and no matter how far we run he will always be right behind us. He’s waiting for us and is so happy to see us.
(18 years old)