“Breathe, and make it a good day.” These were the words my mom embedded in my brain everyday before school when I was in the fifth grade. To this day, I remind myself of those simple words and how they ultimately affected the nervous 11 year old version of myself. I can easily say that I have struggled with anxiety since I was about 10 years old and it has been one of the hardest battles to defeat. Doubt, concern, and fear invaded my thoughts and altered my perception. These thoughts made me feel unwanted, unworthy, and abandoned. I was unable to share my feelings with adults; sometimes not even my own mom. I felt alone, fearful and completely out of control. The devil was taunting me and It seemed like I was miles away from the Lord. I used dance as a way to escape. It seemed easier to express my thoughts through movement rather than words. The ability to dance was and is a gift from God. As the years went on, I sought for a different community to surround myself with. I found people who I could open up to about my faith and the battles I had faced. They understood me and most of all they believed in me. They pushed me to become a better version of myself. I no longer felt alone.
My perspective on life is completely restored. I feel so close with the Lord it completely overwhelms me. I have accepted that I am in no means close to perfect. I am SIGNIFICANT and I am WORTHY. I was put on this sinful Earth for a reason and I search for that purpose day after day. I escaped from the battle. I am completely free of doubt, concern, fear, and loneliness. I am wanted. I am loved. I am not alone. I am a child of God. Negative thoughts no longer rule my mind. I have control of the reigns and I have an army of friends, family, and a community that have my back. Take a deep breath, look around you… you are NEVER alone.
Author: Anna, 16